I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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