You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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