paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize