if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Randomize
