He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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