we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
