Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
