clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize