It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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