this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
