Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
he was CRYING into my vagina
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
