To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
