I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Randomize
