garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize