I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
