i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
