I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
