Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
