Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
