He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize