It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
