Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Randomize
