i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Randomize
