Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
