That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
