cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
