i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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