Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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