Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
