So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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