I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
