Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
