her vagine was all disorganized.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
i will never coherently bang her
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Houston, we have a squirter
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
