I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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