maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
wow bdsm is so cute
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
