Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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