We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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