no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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