Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
