my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
