I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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