He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
