I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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