Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
