What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Randomize
