I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
