I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
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