just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
