my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
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