they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
