beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
