And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Randomize
