I could make wine with my vomit
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
