Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
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