Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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