Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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